-I started training for my job and I love it.

-Still love the boy, even if he is a butthole.

-I want to carve myself from the inside out and start my entire existence over because I feel inadequate in everything I do.

I left my job at the comic book store and now work full time not in retail. So that happened at the beginning of January.

Good news is, I still hate myself! So that much hasn’t changed.

-Cards Against Humanity can only be bought in Target or online at their website, and also at a single store in NYC and in their hometown. Stop asking your local games shop if they have it. They probably have a knockoff that you can play as an expansion to CAH. Stop. Fucking. Asking. Please.

-If you want something really, really specific for a holiday gift, don’t wait until last minute. Chances are you’re SOL. Please do not ask me if I’m going to get it in the the week because chances are: I don’t fucking know.

-Please hold your temper. I’m sorry you’re having a shitty day. You’re making my day shitty by being shitty. Oh it’s snowing out? Awesome. Now I know I have to brush my car off from under a foot of snow after I’ve been dealing with assholes like you all day. You’re not special. You’re not going to bully me into giving you something I don’t have. As the only employee in the store, I have the ability to kick you out and call security on you if need be.

-‘tis the season for almost getting run over in parking lots because drivers are impatient. So as a pedestrian, know your right to flick someone off and call the police if you get hit. Drivers are assholes and don’t have the right of way.

-If you are being an asshole, know that there are people like me who are willing to step in and fight you. You don’t want to fight me because I am smol and it will look like you’re trying to fight a child. No one likes you if you fight a child. I will fight you in the mall, in the parking lot, under a bridge, in the fucking grocery store.

-If you live in a state that needs to salt the roads, I suggest you avoid intentionally eating rock salt. Shit is gross. Even worse when you accidentally eat it because at that point it’s been muddied up with snow and shit and asphalt. This is incase you, a pedestrian, get hit by a car and you end up face first in the road.

-Avoid bringing your child shopping with you. Please, for everyone’s sake. Don’t make it a family affair. It’s fucking annoying to have a million children running around and breaking shit.

mysterydisease:

You die
And words won’t do anything
It’s permanently night
And I won’t feel anything
We’ll all be laughing with you when you die

This is why I hope the government is reading my text messages.

If you haven’t seen the mini-ep on the CN app, I’d say do so now! It’s fucking dope and mah boi Jeff Rosenstock put his ska pants on to do the music. You can find it under the “coming in 2018” tab, which takes a bit of exploring to find. I haven’t been excited for a new show in a while, but this one’s got rad written all over it.

Between Black Friday and my interview today, I’ve lost track of time and space. I’m sick so I’m barely hanging on with bullshit daytime/nighttime cold medicine. I’ll be back soon, it’s just that my ass is getting kicked real hard right now.

lickgold:

Instagram @laurenrocke

fuckfacemcgillicuddy:

I feel like it’s not acknowledged or appreciated nearly enough that Hellboy is a book about a demon summoned to Earth by a mad Russian scientist using Nazi super tech in order to win World War 2 and bring about the apocalypse and instead of being a grimdark edgefest, Hellboy is just a big kid who really likes pancakes and his favorite superhero is an idiot named Lobster Johnson and one of his best friends was a homonculus who couldn’t wear pants.

celebsofcolor:

Alia Shawkat for OUT Magazine

cactusjacquescamatte:

Using the bathroom after you clock out makes you a class traitor.

straightboyfriend:

I was put on this earth to be gay & love rice

japan-overload:

by  mr. jose